so, after a few weeks of thinking about it and a lot of convincing on my part (pleading with the hubs) to start a diet (that costs a decent chunk of change), I am on DAY #3....and doing really well.
i mean, did i want a blueberry pancake or two like i made for my daughter for breakfast this morning? HECK YES I DID! do i crave chili and cornbread in this frigid 55˚F south texas winter weather? SHOOT YEAH! would i love to eat a loaf of french bread for no other reason than it is one of the most delicious gifts just to me from God himself? WHO DOESN'T? ok, so the last one is maybe not so universal, at least for the whole loaf. and maybe my definition of frigid temperatures is a bit relative. but nonetheless, i have been GOOOOOD! I mean, my "cheating" yesterday? Two vitamin C tablets. I know what you're thinking. They're vitamins. yes, they are. Delicious, chewable vitamins of the orange flavored variety. and 100% unnecessary because i'd already had my mulitvitamin that has a nasty aftertaste despite drinking it quickly so it doesn't begin to dissolve in my mouth. eww.
know this, peeps: i have NEVER put myself on a diet. despite reading the volumetrics diet, the south beach diet, how to eat right for your blood type, the end of overeating (to name the major ones), i couldn't buckle down to follow anything. sure, i tried a few decent recipes. i dabbled with calorie counting. but restricted no foods. i've pretty much always been fully cognizant of what i eat, but i have never deprived myself of a dessert or copious amounts of bread if i felt like eating it.
so i'm sure by now that you've deduced i'm doing a low carb diet. no fruit for a bit (which is a bit extreme). i can only take in a ton of veggies and lean proteins. the crazy part is, i have always known how to eat and what to eat and what has a high glycemic index and what doesn't. which is why i had to convince my husband to get on my support team for this. he doesn't understand that, for me, knowing and doing are on different ends of the spectrum. so, the hand holding support and accountability and menus and meals that this diet provides are all about convenience and ease and variety. i can't explain it any better than my following theory.
there are two types of people in this world. the first is the person who has what i call a functioning "satiety button". food is delicious, but fuel nonetheless. rarely ever faced with a weight problem due to diet, they eat until they are satisfied without the extra urge to keep eating or picking because the food is "there" or just downright so tasty it's hard to stop. for these people, it's seldom, if ever, hard to stop. a taste is enough.
then there is the polar opposite. this second type of person can be incredibly overweight, possibly obese because of blatant overeating. however, they can be fit as well. whether this person is a stress eater, an emotional eater, a boredom eater, there is an issue with food. The common denominator is the same unhealthy constant urges to eat. let me clarify that it isn't the cravings themselves that are unhealthy. it is the persistence and degree of extremity of this drive to overeat, whether healthy or unhealthy foods.
now, i'll turn it back to me and my personal experience. i'm slightly overweight. as in, my BMI is 26. but because i fall into the second category, there is a constant battle in my head every time i think of food....which is a lot. like an addict, my mind is always looking for the next score. i love pastries. they're sugary and doughy. love it. love cookies, love cake, love sweet bread. i started sneaking food because i couldn't just have a taste or even one dessert. it was several. a box of little debbie cakes would last me a day. i rarely buy this stuff. because when i do, i crave it more.
i tried to develop an aversion to oreos once. i succeeded in taking down a half bag before i couldn't eat anymore. but the next day? i was searching the pantry for the rest of the bag. my roommate ate them. and i don't love oreos any less. but i digress, the bottom line is i feel that unlike with chemical dependency, it is physically impossible for me to live without food. so everytime i have to eat, i am faced with the decision of what AND how much i will eat. left with the freedom of choice, i have been making mostly wrong choices. so, being told exactly what to do and having to think less is what's helping me through this.
diabetes runs in the family; as does high blood pressure. so, i exercise to keep things in check. i exercise quite a bit. i enjoy it. i love being active. but it's been a pain here lately, literally. the kicker for me was when i went to the rheumatologist a few weeks ago, and he told me that my sacroiliac joint pain that i've had for over a year now could be alleviated by weight reduction or steroid injections. no thanks, i'll pass on the latter.
i will slowly start to phase in whole grains, fruits, and an occasional dessert. but we're talking in a few months. boo. in the meantime, i can eat all the lettuce i want. whoop-de-doo. that is EXCITEMENT.
seriously, the excitement comes in kicking the back pain and resetting my pendulum so that my knees won't bother me so much anymore when i do anything. like run. or jump with my daughter. or chase my dogs. for me, that's the light at the end of the tunnel. so, i bid adieu to my former ways as do my darnedest to build a solid foundation of good habits.
yes, i am painfully aware of the fact that the holiday goodies are about to pour in. that's why i started now. wish me luck, friends. keep you posted on my progress after friday's appointment.
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